Demise And Existence
by Kaiya Look
Summary: Its The 74th Hunger Games, but these games would be like no other. Gender has been removed from the equation, allowing two girls or two boys to be drawn at the reaping. The odds have changed, the chances of being reaped multiply two-fold, and the odds are not in District Twelve's favor.
1. Chapter 1- The Reaping

**Chapter 1- The Reaping**

I was in my assigned age group, It wasn't as crowded as last year...probably because the tributes from the 73rd hunger games were my age, and neither survived. That was one girl and one boy gone who died in an icy tundra, which wasn't the most exciting of games for the capitol. That's why they changed the rules. Eliminated gender from the Hunger Games equation. This allowed two boys or two girls to be tributes from a district which helped spice up the blood bath, and allowed boys to volunteer for girl tributes and girls to volunteer for boy tributes. None of this really changed District 12 attitude. It just offered a higher chance of a tribute fighting against a family member of the same gender. It just brought more sorrow to the district and more enjoyment to the Capitol. There were about 20 kids in my group. I didn't know many of them, I mostly kept to myself seeing as I was in the richer part of the Seam and I never went hungry while most of them did. Katniss was one of them. She wore a beautiful dress that probably belonged to her mother for the sides of her dress were pinned up slightly. Her long black hair that was usually braided down her back was pinned up for the "occasion". All of the children were dressed like this, wearing special clothing, hair done up in a fancy way. It was required, it was a law. It was the Capitols way of punishing us for the uprising that started the Hunger Games, it was a way to make us pretend that we enjoyed sending children off into the arena to fight to the death. The only celebrating that District 12 would be doing tonight was to celebrate that their own children were not selected. Two families would draw their curtains, and mourn. Their children were already dead to them. The chance that their child would live was 1 out of 24 and the other 12 children or so have been training for this since birth. To them, winning the hunger games was honor, unlike to the poorer districts...like us.

Effie Trinket was ready to begin so she stepped up to the mic and begin the usual speech of how an honor it was to be here and how she was so excited to announce the 74th Hunger Games tributes, the history of Panem, and how the games have come among us, the glory that could be brought upon our district, along with showers of gifts and prizes etc... I wasn't amused, the only thing that brought me slight joy was that Haymitch, District 12's only surviving tribute tumbled onto the stage drunk, as he is every year and fell at Effie Trinkets feet and slobbered on her pointy green shoes. You could see the disgust and terror rising in her face as she let out a squeak thick with the Capitols strong accent.

"Ehh, sorry." He mumbled as he tried to get to his feet. "Oooh its Effie, ooh hello you wern here wen I was a tribute but 'ell I was a good one aight? Better then you, a pink fuzzy lill girl, wha are you? Fift'en? Haha you must think I'm drunk? I'm always like this, beeutifful, ooh look sweeha't you got sumthin on your shoe, leeme ge it off for you." Haymitch bent down and began scrubbing her foot with the end of his dirty tunic which just dulled the green sheen and smothered her foot in muck. With a few steps she hopped around Haymitch and began to continue her speech quite frazzled.

"I guess since everyone is here we shall begin then." Effie jumped over Haymitch again as graceful as a capitol swine and went to the large bowl which held 8 slips of paper with my name on it. Although my family was getting along fine and I was a strong and healthy boy, a couple of years back, business was slow and my mother was pregnant, so I was forced to take tessarea, just twice but enough to increase my chances of being reaped. This was nothing compared to the other kids in my age group, Katniss must have at least 20 and Kaeb, another kid from the Seam had at least 40. Everyone's eyes were on the bowl as Effie stuck her hand in and dug for a slip...everyone except for Katniss. Her eyes were intently on another age group the one for 12 year olds, the one with her sister who just became eligible for the Hunger Games. I knew for a fact that Katniss shouldn't worry, her sister only had one slip inside that bowl, she wouldn't let her take tesserae, the odds of her being chosen was one out of the thousands of slips inside that bowl. Effie Trinket pulled out a piece of paper, smoothed it out and walked over to the mic and read out the name.

"Primrose Everdeen." She said with a smile. Not one person returned the smile, even though there was the usual clapping required from the district everyone had a sad look on their face. Katniss was frozen and she slowly looked up to see her little sister Prim walk on the stage.

"NOOOOOO!" she screamed. Katniss Everdeen began shoving through the crowd screaming the whole way until a boy from the 18 year old age group stopped her and managed to yell over her screams.

"I'll, volunteer! I'll volunteer for Prim!" I knew this boy. The black hair, olive skin tone. Gale. Katniss whose struggle against him finally softened looked at him incredulous. If I didn't know any better I would mistake the two of them for relatives, but I did know better, I knew that they were as thick as thieves, true best friends. Kaeb, walked up and took Katniss by the shoulders and brought her back to her seat since she was obviously physically unable to move as she saw her best friend take her sisters place on the stage. Primrose was screaming begging Gale to go but I knew she was relieved, anyone at her age would be. Her mother ran up on the stage her face pale as she took her daughter in her arms. Even from here I saw the somber nod she gave Gale and that he returned as she took her screaming girl off the stage and off into the crowd were it vanished into District 12's silence. Gale's face was stone, he showed no emotion, just like many before him. Effie Trinket, wanting to increase the excitement for this tribute tiptoed toward him with the microphone her face with an ecstatic smile.

"Wowie! I haven't seen a volunteer in District 12 for years! What's your name young man?"

"Gale Hawthorn." He replied, his voice as monotone as his facial expressions. Haymitch stood up from the pool of drool he was temporarily sitting in and put his arms around Gale and Effie and began to speak into the microphone making it shriek for a slight moment.

"I-I think I like him! He's a good strapp'n young man! He's a fine tribute, a lot better then you pink head." He said leaning over Effie. The way her nose twitched suggested he smelled of alcohol and body odor. Seeing as a moment to escape back to the drawing bowl, Effie ducked under Haymitch's arm leaving Gale to support more then half of the drunk mans weight. Wanting to end this quickly she drew a slip from the opening of the bowl and quickly walked around Haymitch to reach the microphone.

"Okay District 12! Our second tribute is..." she peered at the slip of paper, "Peeta Mellark!" Before I knew it my legs followed the Capitols orders and walked up to the stage despite my mind screaming for me to run. As I reached the stage Haymitch ran up and embraced me in a large hug.

"Hey Haymitch, haven't seen my uncle for a while huh?" I replied. I managed to unstick myself from his filthy body and resume my place next to Gale. Nobody would volunteer for me, I wasn't the golden boy, Gale could win...will win I should say, I was no competition.


	2. Chapter 2- Pawn

Chapter 2- Pawn

I had this terrible habit of tapping my feet when I was nervous or upset. I guess I had a mixture of both, still shell shocked from the reaping. I wouldn't see my mother, my father, my brothers….anybody. My hands clenched into fists, and for once I had anger instead of fear for the Capitol. I knew that any second someone would walk in the lavish room and wish me luck, etc… I wasn't ready to face anybody yet, my emotions were hardly stable. What would the arena be like this year? Thick forest, mountain ranges? I searched my head for any survival techniques, it was empty. The only I knew how to do is to bake and paint. Peeta Mellark the wonder boy who survived the arena by feeding his competitors a poisoned cake. I gave a dark smirk at my pathetic sense of humor. The large oak door to the room opened and the grim face of my family entered. The only one who seemed close to tears was my father; I guess I really was a daddy's boy. My father kneeled at the chair I sat in and bent his head over my hands.

"How are you holding up?" he asked in a gruff voice. A few drops of his tears landed on my fists. My mother stroked her hand through my blonde hair and gave me a weak smile. Although she was a stubborn and sometimes rude woman…maybe she really did care about her youngest child. We were quiet for a moment until a Peacekeeper came in and directed my family out. My oldest brother Rameur placed a firm hand on my shoulder and through gritted teeth said the most sensitive thing he ever uttered.

"Play it safe Peeta, and come home…come home dammit." I had no other visitors, and that didn't surprise me. I wiped away a tear that was about to fall down my cheek, and at that moment I realized that my fight with the Capitol was on.

The train was luxurious; the room I stayed in was twice the size of my own house. I ran my hand through my dark hair, afraid that if I let any emotion slip that my chance of winning would be ruined. Just by looking at my build it would be hard to pass as a weakling. I would have to play off my anger for the Capitol and the games into a character that the audience would enjoy. Mysterious, dark…I could pull that off. There was a light tapping at my door and without even my permission Effie Trinket waltzed in like a graceful doe dipped in pink makeup with a sparkling suit and 5 inch heels.

"Heeeeloooo Gale!" she said cheerfully, "Why don't you come join the rest of us for some supper, I say you must be starving!" Effie stared at me with her large eyes blankly. She was a doe, her eyes holding nothing, just reflecting my face.

"Yeah sure." I replied, keeping a stony face. I follow her until we reach a dining table covered in cloth, silverware, and plates that could feed my family for years. This is what made me despise the Capitol the most. The districts did all of the dirty work, and got to starve for it while the Capitol ate fine meals, and lived where everything was at their disposal. Peeta was already there conversing with Haymitch who for once seemed sober enough to carry a conversation. Looking at the pair closely I could see a resemblance between the faces and build. I guess Haymitch really was his uncle. They looked at Effie and I, as we entered halting their conversation. Peeta gave me, his competitor a grim smile. We had a past, one that I thought would never be brought up again, yet it seemed unavoidable with us living so close together, and soon fighting each other.

"Oh it seems you both got here early!" Effie said astonished raising her eyebrows at Peeta and giving him a look that said: whatever you're doing to Haymitch keep it up I can almost stand him. Effie quickly grabbed a seat farthest from the two leaving the only open chair next to my fellow tribute. We had a feast, pork covered in a fine sweet sauce with cooked slices of potatoes and Haymitch even offered me a sip of wine. It was a fine liquid and it washed down not only my food but my troubles as well. I could almost bear such a tense situation. Then we got to see the recap of the reaping in all of the districts. When it was District 12's time to "shine" we all saw Haymitch make a fool of himself again. Effie shivered, probably reliving the experience. I burst out laughing. And between breaths I managed to speak.

"We are so screwed."

I stagger back to my room exhausted. Tomorrow we would arrive at the capitol and meet our stylists. Through my abstract thoughts I managed to bump into Gale who was standing in front of my door. I looked up, he was at least 6 inches taller than me, with broad shoulders and a smooth face and a mouth that was usually set in a scowl. I bit the inside of my cheek trying not to remember the events of last year.

"We need to talk." He said opening the door for me like a proper gentleman. I nodded to shy for words. I sat on my bed while he leaned against the wall. I sighed deeply, there was no avoiding this. A year ago some boys managed to steal some liquor from the Hob and they threw a tiny celebration to root for the District 12 tributes, although we all knew they had almost no chance. I was there along with Gale, Katniss, Kaeb, Madge and a few others that I don't remember. That was the first time I had ever been drunk, I can barely recall the events of that night. There was a lot of singing honoring our tributes, Katniss had a beautiful voice. I don't know how it led to this, but that morning I awoke at Gale's house, naked in his bed with him. Just by the way my body ached I knew that we had slept together. I think Gale knew it too. I left before he had a chance to say a word.

"What is it?" I asked, already knowing the answer but afraid to admit so. Gale rubbed the back of his neck and gave me a slightly pained expression.

"I never thought it would be you…you know?" He plopped down in the bed next to me and laid down, his arms sprawled against the covers. My fingers tapped against my knee. I didn't want to talk to him, just looking at him made me physically and mentally weak. I swear that Gale Hawthorn would be the downfall of me.

"I know…What made you want to volunteer in the place of Prim?" I said, gathering up to ask the pressing question. He sat back up and looked at me with furrowed eyebrows.

"I'm not going to let them take a poor innocent little girl to use as one of their pawns in this game." Gale cracked his knuckles.

"Yeah…" I could feel the conversation falling down hill from this point. I mean what else can I say to someone who is going to kill me? As he was about to speak I decided to get it over with and say my mind.

"Gale…why are we pretending that we can be friends? You and I both know that if you win, I'm dead, and If I win you are. This is pointless. I'm not saying I want to be enemies…I just don't want the games to have control over me as much as you do." I couldn't clamp my hand over my mouth fast enough. He slowly turned his head toward me.

"Peeta?" he whispered. Gale removed my hands and leaned over and hovered above my lips. I thrust my hands against his chest, pushing myself away from him.

"Are you crazy! Were both men. Not to mention that in a few days we will be out to kill each other...Gale go…just go." With his hands pressed to his forehead he left my room. I flung myself back down on the bed holding back the urge to scream. Last year seemed to be repeating itself. The only circumstance that was the same was the scent of alcohol on his breath.


	3. Chapter 3- Aftershock

I felt unbelievably and incredulously stupid. I forced myself onto Peeta, which was the absolutely last thing I should be doing, and the last person I should be thinking about. It was around 2 in the morning and I found myself stumbling around the hallways of the train until I ended up in the lounge covered with the Capitols finest cloths, and equipment. I picked up a glass cup, halfway filled with whiskey and threw it. The glass collided with the opposite wall and splintered into tiny glittering fragments, the drink ran down the wall and stained the carpet. I lost it then; I threw the bottles knocked over the furniture and tore open the cushions. I was in a blind rage, it wasn't just my anger at the Capitol anymore, it was the built up stress. I worried for my family, for my life, and for a moment I truly hated Peeta. Just as I was about to throw a wine bottle I heard a startled gasp. I tossed the bottle at my feet, ignoring the several cuts the glass gave me and the searing pain that followed when the wine fell into the wounds. I turned, and Effie winced as she heard the sound of crunched glass. Her eyes grew wider as she surveyed the scene.

"Oh my GOD. GALE HAWTHORN!" her eyebrows furrowed, and her lips tightened. I had a feeling I was going to get the lecture of a lifetime. Effie took a deep breath ready to give me hell.

"What's going on?" Peeta appeared in the hallway, all decked out in Capitol standard pajamas. He looked curiously between me and Effie until he saw what I did to the room.

"Holy shi-"

"Manners!" she cut him off, and returned to glaring at me. To be honest she almost looked normal without her face being caked in layers of makeup.

"Do you have any idea what you have done! Look at this mess, it will take forever to clean up!"

"Effie…I got this." Peeta said, trying to calm her down. She gave him a glance, then her eyes softened and she turned around muttering about how she wanted to work with tributes who weren't barbarians for once.

It was silent between the two of us, we didn't move or speak, until Peeta reached out to me and I took a few steps away, my feet firmly sinking into the piles of glass. This time he grabbed me more roughly and managed to pick me off the ground. That really surprised me, I didn't think that he was that strong. I went limp in his arms and he carried me back to my room and set me on the bed.

"Lay back." He said. Peeta turned the lights on and examined my bloodied feet. He went to the bathroom and returned with a wet rag, tweezers, a bowl and bandages.

"This is going to hurt a bit." He said as he propped my foot up and began to remove the glass. I winced but I didn't make a sound. When he was done with the left he mopped up the blood and wine, then bandaged my foot before moving to the right.

"Are you going to speak to me or what?" Peeta asked as he viciously ripped out a large shard of glass that was stuck in the heel of my foot. I groaned slightly, but sat up trying my best to ignore the pain.

"I thought you just wanted me to go." I said with a little bitterness in my voice.

"You're so childish." He said with yanking out another fragment. I gritted my teeth and pulled on the covers of my bed.

"So?"

"Oh grow up."

"If I could then I wouldn't be here." I whispered clenching the fabric in my hands. Peeta looked up at me briefly, then looked down and began to clean and bandage my foot. After he finished putting the last wrap in place he sat on the bed with his head down.

"You know you are right…we do need to talk. I don't want things between us to go unsaid, because when I die-"

"You are not going to die."

"Gale, stop. You know that I have no chance, what am I going to do? Bake them to death? You can win Gale. You can fight. You can-"

"STOP! Don't say that, don't just give up before we even get there." I said gripping his shoulders. Peeta was shocked at my reaction, and slowly nodded his head.

"Your right…I'm sorry its just getting to me. I mean, I can't kill people."

"You don't know that."

"I can't kill anyone…I bet with the time comes I'll try but, I don't know if I can carry through with it." He bit his lips and looked down at the sheets. Peeta was closing himself off again. I lifted his head up and made sure that he looked me in the eyes.

"This isn't what were supposed to be talking about anyways. Right?"

"Right." He shifted uncomfortably before tucking his feet to his side, "About that night…"

"We didn't have sex if that's what you're wondering." I said softly. Peeta looked at me in disbelief.

"But we were in bed naked, and I was in pain and…"

"You were drunk and you fell pretty hard."

"But I was naked, you were naked."

"Yeah, we were." I ran my hand through my hair and lay back on the bed, "You really don't remember anything do you."

"No…" he said looking down ashamed.

"I guess I'm going to have to jog your memory." I said slightly distracted. Peeta turned his head at me.

"What do you mean?" He asked. I leaned over and firmly gripped Peeta's face as I leaned in and deeply kissed him. He tried to push away at first, but then gave in. Our lips fit together perfectly, moving with each other in a perfect rhythm. I laid Peeta on his back, got on top of him and passionately kissed his neck as I tried to unbutton the sleeping shirt he was wearing. He moaned and tried to cover his mouth. I tugged his shirt off and cast it aside as I explored his body. The blonde boy had defined muscles, and I set my hands on his chest and worked my way down.

"I thought you said we didn't have sex." He whispered through gasps. I kissed his lips again and whispered in his ear.

"We didn't." I nibbled on his neck and went down his tantalizing skin.

"So…we did this?" he moaned, gripping the back of my head.

"Sort of." I lifted him up and shifted our positions making him on top of me, "You were very, _very_ seductive." I kissed him roughly, forcing us to break apart panting. Peeta's hands shook as he lifted my shirt over my head. I grabbed his wrists steadying him.

"I'm here for you, don't worry." I whispered, caressing his cheek. His face changed and he had a moment of courage, where he pushed me down and held my hands hostage above my head as his mouth had his way with mine. Suddenly he jumped off of me, hiding his hard-on with a pillow. Peeta just sat there avoiding my eyes.

"And then what happened?" he asked, pretending I hadn't noticed what was hiding beneath that pillow.

"And then…and then you passed out. Right there on top of me, of course by then all of our clothes were off. So I just tucked you into bed and fell asleep myself." This was only half a lie of course. Peeta did pass out on me, and he spent the night, but I conveniently left out the part where he said some pretty embarrassing things in his sleep.

"Oh…that's all?"

"That's all."

"Nothing more?

"…Nothing more."

"Oh okay." Peeta awkwardly got to his feet, trying to be nonchalant about the pillow, "Well I should go…"

"No wait…can you just stay a little longer?" I asked desperately. He briefly spared a glance downward and shook his head.

"Nope, I'm really tired, I better go to bed."

"Oh…Umm…Okay then. I'll see you in the morning then."

"Yeah…See ya." He said as he made his escape. I held my breath until the footsteps faded into the low hum from the train.

"Se ya." I muttered weakly to no one in particular. I hobbled over to a light scanner on the other side of the room and slid my finger down it until the room was pitch black. I fumbled blindly to my bed almost tripping on the sleep shirt Peeta left behind. I picked it up, letting the silk fabric slide in my fingers. I clutched it in my arms as I slid into bed and deeply inhaled his scent. His smell was like fresh bread with a hint of frosting, warm and sweet. I sighed, wishing for this smell to be connected to his body instead of a shirt that he left behind. Peeta Mellark, a boy with wavy blonde hair, pale blue eyes as wide and deep as the sky itself, skin smooth, tan and finely worked. Every detail, every perfection, every blemish, all of it that made up Peeta Mellark…I remembered our first night together, the whisper that sent thrills through my body as they passed his recently kissed lips.

"I Love You."


End file.
